As a therapist who has worked with all kinds of unique and wonderful clients, I often find that folks who struggle with disordered eating usually find their way inside my office.
The fact that these clients choose to link up with me is no coincidence.
Long before I started my practice, I made the intentional decision to focus on being a therapist who’s informed by Health at Every Size® and Intuitive Eating.
That shift from what healthcare providers usually tell them (that if they “just lost weight, things would be better”) is enough to get their attention.
Disordered eating affects so many of us in so many different ways. And typically, when people come to see me, they’ve been trying to cope and deal with the burden of it all on their own.
They’ve tried yo-yo dieting. A routine of extreme movement. Calorie counting. They’ve gone through their almond mom era of restrictive eating habits (that they might have pushed onto their families, too). The whole nine yards. And often, they’ve been doing it for years.
Though every person’s struggle is different, they end up feeling the same way–they’re tired of missing out on being fully present for life’s beauty.
They’re stuck in this endless cycle of being worried about what they’re going to look like, counting calories, a workout class, or how they’ll be perceived.
When all they’re really chasing–all they really want–is to find peace with themselves, their body, and their relationship with food.
There’s no magic wand to wave to help someone find that peace.
But with dedicated effort and the willingness to shift your perspective, you can learn how to take steps toward that.
Talking About Disordered Eating & Relationships with Food: The Bejeweled Counseling Way
All of my clients are different, but many of them are dealing with guilt, frustration, and tumultuous relationships with food and nourishment. They also have tied their self-worth to the shape and size of their body.
They’ve tried Keto and Weight Watchers and obsessively kept up with the gym. And at the end of it all, they find themselves stuck in a cycle that perpetuates itself over and over (and over) again.
Most of them have had an interaction (or several) with doctors, nurses, or other healthcare professionals whose first comment is always, “If you lost weight, your mental and physical health would improve.”
The reality? It’s truly not that simple.
So many things play a role in our health–and weight is not always at the center of that.
That’s why, when I started my practice, I wanted to make sure my clients knew upfront that they’d never hear that from me. I created my own principles that are part of the Bejeweled Counseling approach to talking about and dealing with disordered eating, including:
- Health at Every Size®
- Intuitive Eating
- Joyful Movement
Want to know more about what these mean and how they might change the way you think about yourself, your relationship with nourishment, and movement?
Keep reading to get the inside scoop on it all.
What Does Informed by Health at Every Size Mean?
When my clients come to me struggling with disordered eating or their relationship with their body, they’re desperately hoping I won’t be just like the other healthcare folks who told them to eat veggies and take a lap around the block.
Listen, I know it’s more complex than that.
In our society, we’re so zeroed in on the idea of a higher weight, meaning worse health–but that’s not necessarily always the case. Weight-focused treatments isn’t nearly as successful as it was once thought to be.
At the same time, we often find ourselves surrounded by a world that ties self-worth to body shape and size. The pressure of this can feel…insurmountable (especially for folks already dealing with self-worth as it pertains to their body).
Often, people seek one of two solutions.
First, they either relentlessly chase down that image the world puts forward (which, by the way, is an impossible standard for anyone to achieve because it’s not real) or feel perpetually disappointed in themselves.
Or second, they opt to lean into something called body positivity, which might have good intentions but is a much harder perspective to embrace if you’re already healing a tumultuous relationship with your body.
At Bejeweled Counseling, we take a different approach.
My practice is informed by something called Health at Every Size® – a movement that started in the 1960s. HAES® is a body-neutral, weight-neutral approach to health that focuses on healthy behavior changes to promote health–rather than to lose weight.
HAES® is all about encouraging people to appreciate their bodies for what they can do, provide, and achieve, never focusing on how they look.
The main goal of HAES® is to show you how to have respect for yourself and your body, focusing on intuitive eating (another principle we work on at Bejeweled Counseling) and promoting body neutrality).
Empowering, intuitive, and neutral, I believe the HAES® method is a must for those struggling with disordered eating and tumultuous relationships with food, nutrition, or their bodies. HAES® defines how I work with my clients at Bejeweled.
The Key Principles of Health at Every Size®
- Weight Inclusivity: Care is only fully provided when it’s free of anti-fat bias and fatphobia. All bodies deserve care, well-being, and access to healthcare.
- Eating for Well-Being: Nourishment isn’t earned; it’s natural. We don’t eat for weight; we eat because our bodies need nourishment, and that nourishment aids in our well-being.
- Respectful Care: Care always focuses on empowerment and respect for bodies of all sizes.
- Joyful Movement: Movement and exercise should be fun, bring you joy, and be focused on your well-being (not to count calories or lose weight).
- Doing it all for Health: Every choice we make is for the betterment of our health, not for weight loss.
What You Should Know About Intuitive Eating
Complementing HAES®, I’m also a proponent of Intuitive Eating, a movement that rejects diet mentality and focuses on nourishment.
We don’t ban foods, restrict foods, or qualify foods as “good” or “bad.” They simply are.
Intuitive eating is based on listening to your body and eating what feels right for you. Much of intuitive eating is focused on listening to your body’s physical, emotional, and mental needs and then making choices about nourishment based on those needs.
The ultimate goal of intuitive eating? To learn how to listen to your body’s cues, eat what feels best, and eat with the goal of nourishment–not weight loss or to achieve a certain body shape or size.
There’s a huge misconception out there that says intuitive eating is basically saying, “Sure, we’re fine with you eating less nutritionally dense foods at all times.” That’s simply not the case.
Really, intuitive eating is all about learning that, “Hey, it’s OK if I eat this thing, but I realize now that I don’t feel my best after or I don’t have as much energy as I wish I had as a result.” Is that food a “bad food?” It’s not, and we don’t restrict it – but we pay attention to how it makes us feel.
And this applies to foods across the spectrum of nutritional information, too. If I don’t feel well because I ate a pint of Ben & Jerry’s ice cream, I realize that’s not what my body needs at this moment. In the same way, if I just eat grapes and a salad without protein, I likely won’t feel well, either. That’s not what my body needed.
The Key Principles Intuitive Eating
- Reject diet mentality: The diet books you’ve collected? We don’t need them. Diet culture is predatory, and it’s made to make you feel like a failure. The reality? Foods aren’t bad–restricting them and rejecting them all isn’t healthy.
- Make peace with food and relationship with food: Let’s end this food fight. Wave the white flag, call a truce, and give yourself permission to eat. Your body needs nourishment to function.
- Honor your hunger (don’t ignore it): Your body biologically needs food–hunger is your body’s response to that need. Honor those biological signs, rebuild trust with your body, and give yourself the nourishment you deserve.
- Challenge the food police: Your psyche is the food police, and it was put there by diet culture and societal pressure. Next time you feel guilt or shame, challenge that –why do you feel this way? Chase that psyche down and try to get to the root of that.
- Respect your fullness: Your body is a pro at signals–it’ll tell you when you’re no longer hungry. Try to acknowledge that feeling. Pause while eating, enjoy the flavors, and check in on your body’s cues.
- Honor your feelings without food: Just as food restriction isn’t healthy, treating food as if it will fix other issues is also not a healthy coping mechanism. Recognizing triggers, how you manage them, and the result of giving in to those triggers is a good way to start understanding and dealing with your feelings.
- Respect your body: Be kind to your body, embrace your genetics, and focus on your body’s abilities rather than its appearance.
- Joyful movement: Forget the idea of weight-loss-based exercise. Take part in a movement you enjoy. Have fun. Focus on the feeling of a workout rather than the result. Are you energized? Proud of yourself? Acknowledge those feelings.
- Honor your health with gentle nutrition: The food choices you make should honor your taste buds, culture, and body’s well-being. Perfection is never the goal–consistently choosing what tastes good, feels good, and nourishes your body is the goal.
Your Journey Toward Body-Neutrality, Healthful Nourishment, & Joyful Movement
We all approach nourishment, weight, and health differently–and that’s OK. What’s not OK is feeling lost in a downward spiral of self-worth based on your body’s shape, size, or weight.
If you’ve been dealing with feelings of helplessness, frustration, shame, and guilt surrounding nourishment, movement, weight, or size – embracing these principles with a skilled professional by your side could be the step toward peace you’re looking for.
I’m here to help if and when you decide to take that step. Reach out to me through the contact page on my website, email me directly, or text me at 314-347-0901. I’m here to help you reclaim your shimmer!
Joyful Movement: Exercise at It’s Funnest
Both HAES® and Intuitive Eating incorporate elements of joyful movement in their key principles. And to be honest, I love that because joyful movement is part of my approach to disordered eating and tumultuous relationships with nutrition, food, and self.
So, what is joyful movement, anyway?
In a world wrought with intense workout routines and mindsets that encourage perfection in a specific routine, joyful movement counters by basing your exercise on movement and activities that bring you joy.
This exercise philosophy is all about fun and how you feel. It’s about engaging in something you look forward to, feel good doing, and enjoy taking part in.
The beautiful thing about this movement? Because it’s rooted in what’s fun and fulfilling, it looks different for everyone.
Some folks might love a roller skating session in the park. Others might find joy in a challenging HIIT workout at their local gym. Others might like dancing a few times a week with friends.
Any form of movement that improves healthful consistency and is actually fun is a major win because movement isn’t weight loss; it’s about overall health and wellness.
Body Neutrality, Intuitive Eating, & Joyful Movement: Our Approach to Disordered Eating Treatment